Mitch Lewis

Who said this about love and perfection?

Moreover, this holiness of life is comprehended under the two heads above mentioned. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength, and thy neighbour as thyself.” First, our mind must be completely filled with love to God, and then this love must forthwith flow out toward our neighbour. This the Apostle shows when he says, “The end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned,” (1 Tim. 1:5). . . . For complete perfection, nothing more can be required than is expressed in these passages of Moses and Paul.

John Wesley said there was but a hair's breadth difference between him and John Calvin in many things. Is this Wesley, or Calvin?

In 18 years of serving as an Army chaplain, I've had many occasions to lead marriage enrichment events of various sorts for members of my unit. We've talked about about some pretty basic things like improving communications, working through conflict, understanding your spouse and so forth. I've used and adapted material from a number of sources over the years. I went to seminary and entered the ministry during the heyday of the "pastoral counselor" model of ministry, so this kind of thing has been part of my pastoral identity from the beginning. The Army built on that and provided me with some additional training in a variety of family life models and marriage enrichment approaches. The Army's current "Strong Bonds" programs are built on a number of research-validated approaches to marriage education and skill building.

I'm still something of a one-trick pony, however. When I'm not conducting a Strong Bonds event, I tend to fall back on Willard Harley's approach in His Needs, Her Needs and Love Busters. You can find Harley's description of his basic concepts at Marriage Builders. Harley's "Love Bank" is so simple, even a cave man like me can understand it.

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As the Valentine flowers begin to fade and the Valentines cards are filed away, I think it's important to remember that Cupid has very little to tell us about real love. New York Times editor Dana Jennings, however, does. In Love in the Time of Prostate Cancer, Jennings writes:

These days, I epitomize the 'in sickness' part of the wedding vows that Deb and I took back in 1981. Since we learned last April that I have prostate cancer, I've had my prostate removed, found out that the cancer was shockingly aggressive, undergone a 33-session course of radiation and am finishing up hormone therapy.

Right now, I'm not quite what you'd call 'a catch.' I wear man-pads for intermittent incontinence, I'm a bazaar of scars, and haven't had a full erection in seven months. Most nights, I'm in bed by 10. The Lupron hormone shots, which suppress the testosterone that can fuel prostate cancer, have sent my sex drive lower than the stock market, shrunken my testicles, and given me hot flashes so fierce that I sweat outdoors when it's 20 degrees and snowing.

Even so, Deb has taught me that love is in the details. Humid professions of undying love and tear-stained sonnets are all well and good, but they can't compete with the earthy love of Deb helping me change and drain my catheter pouches each day when I first came home from the hospital.

Yes, in the details. She measured my urine, peered into places I couldn't (literally and figuratively), and strategically and liberally applied baby powder, ice and Aquaphor to my raw and aching body. She battled our intractable insurer, networked, tracked down the right doctors - and took thorough notes all the while.

I was wounded. She protected me. She chose to do these things.

Deb and I have been married for 27 years, have two sons (22 and 19), and have ridden the usual Ferris wheel that comes with a long marriage. But our love for each other has deepened in this time of prostate cancer.

Time, we are told, will give us our sex life back. As I said, the hormone shots have shut down my sex drive. And my poor penis is still in recovery - from the surgery and the radiation. But as we wait, I'll tell you this: Love abides. . . . right now, sex seems quaint, old-fashioned. Oddly enough, it can't compete with the depth and gravity of a light touch, a sly glance. . . . Don't get me wrong. I really, really like sex. But given a choice between the mere biology of lust and the deep soul of love, I'll take love.

I especially like Jennings' phrase, "Love is in the details." Precisely.

Such love is not exclusive to Christian homes. Jennings was raised as a Protestant but converted to Judaism in 2004. His wife and his children are also Jewish. He tells the story of the decades-long journey to his conversion here.

Still, as a Christian, when I read Jennings' description of his wife's love I think of Christ. This is the kind of love God bestowed on us in Jesus, and the kind of love that he looks for in all those who bear his name. It's the kind of love that becomes most real when lived out in long-term, deep relationships like marriage.

H/T - First Things

Related:
Valentine Yes, Cupid No
Gods, Love and Eternal Life
Loving Christ, Loving Like Christ

Ephesians 5:21-33

As many have previously noted, Paul begins his so-called "household tables" of Ephesians 5:22-33 through Ephesians 6:1-9 with an admonition to all Christians in Ephesians 5:21:

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

The verb "be subject" in 5:21 is actually a present participle, the last in a sequence of present participles that give examples of what Paul meant by "be filled with the Spirit" in Ephesians 5:18. In Ephesians 5:22, then, Paul begins to give examples of how the Christians of his day were to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ in the concrete circumstances of their lives. Paul begins his discussion by talking about the relationship between husbands and wives in Christian households.

For Christians, the love between a husband and wife is not one kind of love and Godly or spiritual love another kind of love. The love between a husband and a wife in a Christian home is not simply a matter of emotional attachment or physical attraction even though those aspects of marriage are part of the human nature that we share with all humanity. For Christians, however, the love one spouse has for another is a specific application of loving others as Christ loved us ( cf. John 13:34).

Earlier in Ephesians, Paul says:

Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

For Christians, true love is on display in the life of Jesus. Paul specifically tells husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).

If husbands are to love their wives sacrificially just as Christ loved them, wives are to submit themselves to their husbands as they would to Christ himself (Ephesians 5:22). Now many have taken this distinction in language hierarchically, and I have no doubt that in Paul's day how one loved one's spouse in a Christian home looked a good bit different for men than for women.

Still, I think we can read too much into Paul's decision to use different words to describe the duties of a wife and a husband.

Submit yourself to your spouse as you submit to Christ himself (Ephesians 5:22-24) . Love your spouse like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25-33). Are those really two different things?

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For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. Ephesians 2:19-22

October 31 is the anniversary of Martin Luther's posting of the 95 theses and the beginning of what came to be known as the Protestant Reformation.

Ephesians 2 contains a good example of a text that highlights some of the main principles of the Reformation, what came to be known as the five solas: sola scriptura, sola gratia, sola fide, solo Christo, soli Deo gloria.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:4-10 ESV)

Salvation by grace alone jumps out from this text. Twice Paul says, "by grace you have been saved" and once "it is the gift of God." Salvation through faith is explicit as well. The centrality of Christ is evident throughout. That glory is due to God alone is implied in Paul's statement about good works; even they are ultimately rooted in God's design and redemptive activity. No one can boast. And while the primacy of scripture is not evident in the text, the text is only critical if we give recognize the authority of scripture.

If we keep reading in Ephesians 2, however, we will find that the five solas are missing something. What are they missing? The church!

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The financial turmoil of 2008 has brought forth a lot of finger-wagging and tut-tutting from my fellow Methodist preachers.

Some of them have used the crisis as an opportunity to remind Christians that they cannot serve God and mammon - that where their treasure is, their heart will be also - that moth and rust destroy and thieves steal the treasures we lay up on earth, but there is a treasure in heaven that no thief can steal - that there is no need to be anxious about life, food or clothing, for the Father knows that we need these things, but we are to seek first God's kingdom and God's righteousness, and all these things will be given us as well. Point well made. These are certainly important things to remember in both good economic times and bad.

Most of the preachers, however, can't resist pointing their words at the usual suspects - capitalism, consumerism, business owners, corporations and their executives - and accuse their ideological opponents of greed, malice, callousness and all sorts of other vices. For some reason, many Methodist preachers seem to think that a liberal seminary education makes them experts in economics. Perhaps the majority are just following the example of John Wesley, who seemed to have a high opinion of his own opinion, no matter what the topic. See, for example, "The Cause and Cure of Earthquakes," in which Mr. Wesley tells us that earthquakes are punishment for sin. I personally think the theory of plate tectonics offers a better explanation.

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